Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Sleeping Habits

I recently read a blog post by a friend which was basically about how he sleeps and the state of his bed. It's kind of inspired me to discuss this topic further as a lot of the time people tell me my sleeping habits are "not normal." 

So let's begin with simply stating "this is how I sleep". I need white noise to fall asleep, or I stay up too long thinking and thinking some more, so I sleep with my fan on. This serves two purposes as it creates white noise and also creates a cold atmosphere. I love the cold and cannot sleep when it's too hot, so my fan is pretty key in me getting a good nights rest. I also sleep with one pillow between my knees and my teddy bear all entrapped in my grasp. In the summer I will sleep with the window open and only a sheet on, as I am incapable of falling asleep if I don't feel some sort of material weight on my body. In the winter I sleep with a 5 or 6 year old quilt on. When it's really cold, I toss on a second quilt as the first has pretty much lost most of the stuffing that makes quilts warm. If you're wondering why, when it's cold, I just don't simply turn off the fan then you're not paying attention. 


I have never been someone who makes their bed. Ever. The only exception is when it's not MY bed. When staying at my Grandmothers house, the bed I sleep in get's made in the morning because it's not MY bed. When I lived with my father and stepmother the fact that I never made my bed was one of many issues between my step mother and I. She was the type of woman who was very concerned about appearances. "We're having guests over for dinner, go make your bed!" It never made sense to me. My room has always been a fairly private place to me as, until recently, it's been the only room in an entire house that was ever mine. It used to drive me nuts that when I wouldn't make my bed she would come in and do it for me. It even got to the point that if I didn't "straighten up" my desk, she would come in and do that too. Seriously. I never really saw her do it, but the evidence was enough. When I gave in for a little while, in hopes that she would stay out of my room, she would still come into it. It drove me nuts. I knew she had been in my room because she would always close my closet door, because apparently closet doors are not allowed to be left open. I am a very paranoid person, I have never been able to be in my room with the closet door closed. I always open it. Currently, my bedroom has two closets and neither of them have doors. It has seriously solved my problem.


So that's another part to me sleeping well, the closet needs to be open and the bedroom door closed. There are only 2 places I seem to be able to fall asleep without these rules being followed, one is my friend Clever's house and the other is my friend Ricki's house. I don't know why, but they are just two places I feel really safe. There is a 3rd place that I feel really safe, but the last time I slept there the closet had no doors anyways, so my rules were accidentally followed. 


As scandalous as it's probably going to seem, I'm going to talk about sleeping with someone else now. I don't sleep well with someone else in my bed, and I sleep even less well when in someone else's bed. This doesn't even have to be a scandalous or sexual thing, even spending the night sleeping next to a platonic friend is rough on my sleeping habits. My son seems to be the only person I can sleep beside without it affecting me. I flop about a lot in my sleep, except when Merric is laying in my bed next to me. I wake up frequently when someone else is in my bed because I feel like I'm not at ease, I can't be comfortable and relaxed. Even when sleeping I worry that I'll roll over and smack them with my arm or something. 


Camping is even worse. Sharing a tent with more than one person, I absolutely hate it. I love camping though. I used to have to share a tent with my brother, and I think that was the only time I've ever been able to share a tent with someone. Boys are gross, and my brother is no exception. They fart and burp and scratch themselves in their sleep, and since it was my brother I didn't feel obligated to hold in my burps, farts, or scratching needs. Because, let's face it, girls are gross too. 


So anyways, I think that covers most of everything. I intentionally left out in what state of clothing I sleep in, because I think that's more a private thing. Whether I sleep nude, in flannel pajama;s, or in a space suit, it's not really anyone's business. 

Bad Dreams/Nightmares

So last night I had a really terrifying, vivid and gory dream. Or maybe it was bad enough to be classified as a nightmare. I'm not really sure what the differences are, but I woke up from it shaking and started to cry. It was really rough. It was one of those dreams that seems so real that when you wake up and realize it was just a dream you're so relieved you just want to throw up. It's left me feeling very disturbed that my subconscious mind could come up with something like that. 


I don't want to go into many details, but it was so bad that I watched a very beloved friend be tortured with an ax. It was haunting. I still can't get the mental image out of my head. His screams were so real, his anguish and pain.. the blood. It was horrible. 


I have friends that believe dreams are trying to tell you something, that they're prophetic. I can't even begin to comprehend what that dream may have been trying to say. It was just so terrible. I've spent the entirety of my day trying to forget it, but it's still fresh in my mind. I kind of don't want to go to sleep tonight because of it. 


Please tell me I'm not the only who has disturbingly vivid and horrific dreams? I don't like feeling like I'm a sick freak for having had this dream. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I've Been Searching

Finally I have found my soul mate! I am desperately and completely and hopelessly in love! Eggnog triple thick milk shake from McDonalds, you complete me! <3


Anyone who knows me well enough, should know of my complete and total addiction to Eggnog. If given the choice, I would live off cartons of the stuff all season. Sadly, that's terribly unhealthy. At least thats what people tell me. I prefer to believe they are just trying to get more Eggnog for themselves. 


After a quick doctors visit, my son, mother and I went to McDonalds. Merric had earned it. He was really brave during the doctors visit. While in line I discovered a sign, the most wondrous sign. A sign that made me wish I had my camera with me to capture the moment better. It declared to me that I could purchase (you must imagine my voice saying that as "purr" and "chase", it makes it sound better) a Triple Thick Milkshake flavoured of Eggnog. 


I am sipping at it right now and I am in a thick creamy heaven. Stop being a pervert. It's delicious.